Monkey Business

Dominic Raabid claims he told his imaginary friend about No-Deal risks before 2016

Dominic Raabid claims he told his imaginary friend, Harvey Napton, about the risks of a no-deal prior to the 2016 referendum. He further asserts that he made it quite clear there was a real risk of leaving the EU with No-Deal and that this would be a good thing. What’s more he told him this on multiple occasions.

Harvey issued a statement denying these claims.

It is true that I have been talking to Dominic for many years. Over that time I have become a very close personal friend, the two of us having shared many secrets whilst alone in his bedroom. I feel I’ve helped him deal with difficult issues such as, Why no one likes him, How come he can’t get a girlfriend, 101 uses for a cotton sock and Where’s Dover? However, in all that time I’ve never heard him mention the possibility of leaving the EU without a deal.”

“I was thinking about this as I was riding my unicorn and have come to the conclusion that no-one could come up with such a fantastical tale. Who, in their right mind would wilfully destroy lives and families for no real benefit and claim it as a triumph,? Had he told me I would definitely have remembered, I’m not that old.

“I felt it was necessary to clear this matter up. It’s one’s reputation that really matters and it’s with regret that I must now announce that I no longer wish to have anything to do with Dominic Raabid.”

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