Harrods hires Satan for the Grotto, second-rate guitarists, Apprentice candidates and Tory MP’s are queuing out the door!
Ryan Air launch Calais/Dover Ferry Service
Anyone refusing to pay, has the option to swim, after all, it’s a free country. What’s more, our landing points are miles away from anywhere, just like the real thing!
Wednesday’s Bavard Bar Caption Competition
Bavard Bar caption competition
Carol Vorderman to give the Government maths lessons
Threehundredthousandfourhundredandthirtysixthousandandsevenhundredandtwerty isn’t a mathematical number
Following Boris Johnson’s miraculous recovery, the Pope is to sanctify Donald Trump
Campaign to have Donald declared St Trump after he miraculously cures Boris of Corona Virus.
Priti Patel to fight for UFC title under the name Paticake
“I can take those bitches down. I eat pussies like you for breakfast” says Paticake
Couple’s rejuvenated sex-life ruined when their son comes home from university
Since he has been gone, we’ve been banging for Britain. God, it’s been great.
BBC Helpline for those affected by issues in psycho murder gets a call
BBC Helpine for those affected by any of the issues raised in today’s murder drama deluged by a single call. Man stunned to find he had to answer a call
Parliament’s Saturday session contravenes the EU Working Time Directive
Parliament’s Saturday session contravenes the EU’S Working Time Directive. Staff health and safety is most important says Speaker.
Mums rejoice and teachers despair as the new term begins
Mums rejoice and teachers despair as the little gits return to school. Both groups seek solace in wine but for very different reasons
Dominic Raabid claims he told his imaginary friend about No-Deal risks before 2016
Dominic Raabid claims he told his imaginary friend about No-Deal risks before 2016 and therefore every one knew what they were voting for
Tommy Robinson to update his Trip Advisor entry for Pentonville Hotel
Tommy Robinson to update his Trip Advisor entry for The Pentonville Hotel . Apparently, he is excited by the new bucket in each room