Tue. Jan 25th, 2022
Fancy Footballer

Liverpool’s star player Mario Brothers was forced to leave the field after sustaining a serious injury to his hair-do.

The incident occurred in the 69th minute when the ball inadvertently struck the top of his head, flattening his hair.

Referee Ian Napton delayed the game for over 5 minutes, whilst the team’s emergency hairdresser attempted to fix the damage. Although Sharon was able to clear away the mud and grass, she was unable to restore the bouffant wave.

“I tried my best but it was a damp day and the hair spray wouldn’t hold. It’s going to take some serious work in the salon to get him ready for his next game.”

Mr Klopp said, “Fortunately it didn’t affect the result but it is a worry. There is a lot of time and effort that goes into getting the hairstyle just right and it can be very demoralising to a player when all that work is wasted.”

The team have rallied around, offering various styling tips and handy hints. James Milner has suggested that Mario go for a shorter style, perhaps with the curls at the back of the head, so they are better protected.

Meanwhile, Gareth Southgate has shown his faith in Brothers by selecting him for the upcoming England game. However, there is no place for Sterling “I thought long and hard about it but his Number 1 Buzz Cut just isn’t doing it for me. We’ll give him some time to grow it out.”


By Wild Gerald

Gerald has been running around the country, flinging poo, for many years. He is no longer wild, merely slightly annoyed.

The Chatty Chimp, where we don't do fake news, all our stories are 100% made up!