Imaginary laws require an imaginary cabinet ,after all we are making this up as we go along.
Kemi Badenoch signs historic trade deal with Ming the Merciless
Governments says the trade deal will add as much money to the UK economy as Premier League players spend on haircuts.
BBC makes a Schrödinger’s Apology to St Gary of Lineker
When is an apology not an apology? “Usually when you have done something wrong!” Says Sigmund F
Italy v England, what’s the difference?
Having relegated Middlesbrough, we thought Gareth Southgate was perfect for the England job, says FA Spokesman.
“Europeansuperleagueistotallyatrocious” says Mary Poppins
It’s not supercalifragilisticexpialidocious it’s Europeansuperleagueistotallyatrocious
Automaton wins the BBC’s annual (Sports) Lack of Personality Award
The annual lack of personality award goes to a colossal dullard.
La Liga offer counselling to victims of Messi
I am considering moving to Manchester United, so I don’t have to play him again
Man United crash out of the UEFA LDV Vans Coca-Cola Shield
Man United, booted out of Europe’s second most pointless trophy, they don’t even have the consolation of a consolation prize in Le Consolation cup.
Quarantined footballer discovers a book
Man Utd player asks for the EPL to be delayed so he can finish his book
Premier League season to be finished using Subbuteo
Subbuteo, where players can’t fall down, the ref’s word is law and there is an awful lot of flicking going on.
Accidental community hero honoured by his neighbours
I’ll be ready once I’ve remodelled the kitchen and added a conservatory
Anger simmers in the suburbs
Golf, golf, golf, that is all he thinks about! I’m sure he prefers his golfing buddies to me!