Fri. Dec 4th, 2020
The Holy Roller

Sylvester Stallone has announced that Pope Francis will star as his adversary in the next instalment of the successful Rocky franchise.

Crocky
Crocky Balboa

With Rocky’s increasing age it has become more difficult to find suitable opponents for The Italian Stallion. Audiences no longer believe that a man in his 70’s can fight for the World Heavyweight Championship. However, the producers feel that, given their respective ages, Rocky can take on The Holy Father.

Hollywood mogul, Ian Napton explained that “It all came about after His Holiness decked a member of the faithful with a swift uppercut, followed by a nice head/body combination. We were surprised at a what a lovely mover he was, papa has some nice footwork, good balance and real eye of the tiger about him. We are thinking of calling him The Holy Roller.”

Who's The Daddy
Who’s the daddy?

The script for the new movie features a wayward cleric, who faces trials and tribulations that would test the patience of a saint before finding redemption through the ancient art of pugilism.

His Holiness said, “Even though Christ urged his followers to turn the other cheek he didn’t say what should come after. We are going with a bob, a weave and a left to the body before winding up the old haymaker and turning him into Lazarus.”

Who’s The Daddy? will be on general release from the Third Sunday after Whitsun.

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By The Chatty Chump

Given his name by The Editor for good reason, although both parties refuse to speak of it. Lucky to still have a tyre swing.

The Chatty Chimp, where we don't do fake news, all our stories are 100% made up!