Thu. Oct 29th, 2020

Whilst the NHS struggles to cope with the demands placed on it due to the Coronavirus, former prime minister Theresa May has been hospitalised for a different illness.

“We’re testing her for the Coronavirus on a precautionary basis, but we don’t expect her to test positive,” a spokesman for the NHS told us. “Mrs May is suffering from an unusual bladder infection which has been caused by non-stop urinating. This is rarely seen.”

Conservative Party Leader
that’ll teach the c*&£

Mrs May’s husband explained, “She’s been pissing herself at Boris’ expense for weeks. She just can’t help it. She knows what a lucky escape she’s had and she can’t think of anyone else she would have wanted to replace her at a time like this.”

Although Mrs May is a high-profile patient, it’s thought that other formerly prominent politicians are also having trouble with bladder control. Recent Chancellors Sajid Javid and Philip Hammond are among those running to the bathroom frequently, and Jeremy Chunt has separately complained that his stomach is hurting with laughter. “Boris is getting exactly what he deserves for lying and cheating his way to becoming the prime minister,” Chunt said, through tears of laughter.

Meanwhile, the government continues.


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By Colin

Colin is one of our more experienced writers, he is very fond of a cup of tea, a bourbon biscuit and a bit of a nap in the middle of the afternoon. Been noted to express disapproval with a hrrump!

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