Netflix is to reduce streaming quality by buying ITV’s 1970s comedy, back episodes of Crossroads and Mrs Brown’s Boys.
The Internet is struggling to cope with the increased demand, caused by so many people self-isolating and home working. As a result, the streaming giant needs to reduce the amount of material being downloaded from its servers.
Viewer data shows that most Netflix viewers are too drunk or stoned to know what they’re watching, prompting the decision to buy what the industry refers to as, ‘any old shit’.
‘We think that these programmes will reduce streaming quality, allowing the more discerning viewer to watch our selection of second-rate crime dramas, shonky sci-fi and endless stand-up comedy shows. It has not been easy to find content that is lower quality than the shite we already pump out!”
One viewer commented “It’s brilliant man, it’s like looking back in time. I’m particularly looking forward to Prisoner Cell Block H, A Bouquet of Barbed Wire and Tales of The Unexpected. Don’t hog the Dorito’s man, that’s not cool.”
If voluntary measures do not resolve the problem, the government will have to take stronger action, such as cutting off PornHub.
A spokesman for Amazon laughed uncontrollably when asked if they were going to take similar action, and act to help the wider community.
Categories:Entertainment, Monkey Life, Monkey News
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