Mon. Jul 4th, 2022

Womble numbers are rapidly increasing after the cancellation of the Wimbledon Tennis Tournament reduced the demand for tennis balls.

The covering of traditional tennis balls is made from the scrotums of prepubescent wombles. Reduced demand for tennis balls has resulted in more male wombles reaching breeding age “intact” and therefore… more wombles.

The reduction in visitor numbers at Wimbledon Common has also reduced littering, giving the wombles less work to do and more “leisure” time.

“The horny little buggers have too much time on their paws and the result is that they are making more wombles”.

A Park Spokesman

Visitors to Wimbledon common are being asked to help by taking their litter home with them and instead, leave behind (unused) contraceptives in the hope that the wombles will use them.


By Simian MacAque

Simian, sits and looks at the world and wonders, how the hell did they become the dominant species?

The Chatty Chimp, where we don't do fake news, all our stories are 100% made up!