Monkey Business

City reaps financial bonanza as pound plummets on No Deal

Champagne corks are popping in The City again as Brexit disaster looms larger and the pound plummets. 

It’s been a difficult year. I know chaps who have struggled to make £20 million, and even then, they’ve had to resort to shorting businesses which were on the brink of collapse because of the lockdown. But every cloud, and all that…”

Crispin Odious, Very Fat Cat

Odious explained, “But Brexit’s going to make for a great Q4. The Pound started to plummet the moment there was talk of the UK flouting international law. Not only can we short the currency with complete conviction, we can buy overseas assets such as those juicy American tech shares knowing we have the insurance that there’s no currency risk, which there ordinarily should be. Win-win, old boy.”

Brexit has been overshadowed in the news until recently and with the enormity of the idiocy involved creeping back into the headlines, British interests, including its currency, can only head in one direction

Number 10 continues to insist that Britain is heading to the Promised Land, a place where every government minister will be better off, with those snooping continental types kept at arm’s length and cash will be safely tucked up in The Cayman Islands away from prying eyes. 

However, in a world where even the Tory press (Daily Mail excluded, obviously) are insisting that Britain’s international reputation for integrity will be shredded by Boris’ latest wheeze to avoid the rules, the EU is starving its lawyers so that they will be good and ready to gorge on British government blood in the coming weeks and months.

Meanwhile, the government continues.

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