Fri. Nov 27th, 2020
TV Engineer lost in maze

A TV Sound Engineer has been found living in a maze three years after he went missing during a garden makeover program.

Mr Richard Hampton’s wife arranged the make-over as a surprise for their wedding anniversary. The TV team lead by Percy Dill built the five-acre maze in the grounds of the Hampton’s country house while the couple were on holiday in Tuscany.

The building of the huge maze and a grand reveal was filmed by the program maker. After the TV crew and gardners left, the sound engineer, Dylian “ears” Orejas never reappeared at work.

We were a bit surprised, but nobody knew where he was. After a few weeks we just assumed that he’d buggered off back to Spain because of BREXIT and terminated his employment. Nobody realised we had left him behind in the maze.

Quintin Cappuccino, Professional Luvvy

Dylian was eventually found when the maze was opened to the public after the Hamptons fell on hard times and could barely afford to run the Bentley. A couple visiting from Barnsley found him wandering and led him out.

T’ poor sod didn’t have a clue where he was. He ‘ad been living on grubs and berries and collectin’ water in a wellie boot. I think e’d trapped and eaten the odd pigeon, ‘cause there was a little pile of leg rings in the gazebo.

Sid Ardup, Maze Enthusiast.

“Ears” has been reinstated with full back pay and given a ferret collar in case he gets lost again.


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By Simian MacAque

Simian, sits and looks at the world and wonders, how the hell did they become the dominant species?

The Chatty Chimp, where we don't do fake news, all our stories are 100% made up!