Wed. Jul 28th, 2021
Facepalm

The Health and Safety Executive has been called in following reports of unsafe working practices on Mount Olympus. Zeus, Managing Director of the Gods, has been called out as a workplace bully and industrial despot.

It all started when Hera called him omnipotent and he thought she was ridiculing his erectile dysfunction. He got really tetchy and started going over the top to prove he was still a man… er, God.

Viagorous, Sex Therapist to The Gods

Zeus’ dubious workplace motivational interventions include: Chaining Prometheus to a rock and encouraging the office eagle to peck out his liver. Tying Ixion to an eternally burning wheel in the car pool. Relocating Tantalus to a remote office in the underworld without a nearby Pret and assigning Sisyphus to an eternity of pushing a boulder up the office tower block staircase.

Epimetheus claims that Zeus has even had a pop at him to get back at his brother Prometheus.

He set me up with a blind date with a lovely lass from accounts called Pandora and gave me a box of chocolates to give her. Anyway, when she opened the bloody thing, all hell broke loose… literally. I should have listened to Cassandra’s warnings about him.

Epimetheus, Brother of Prometheus

Zeus is said to be considering standing down as MD and is considering a career in politics.

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By Simian MacAque

Simian, sits and looks at the world and wonders, how the hell did they become the dominant species?

The Chatty Chimp, where we don't do fake news, all our stories are 100% made up!