During last week’s Presidential debate Donald Trumpski raised the thorny subject; What is the correct wine to serve with the family pet?

Figuring he was on to a vote winner, the convicted fraudster and MacDonald’s superfan, claimed Haitian immigrants in Springfield, Ohio were serving Rose with their Labrador. He claimed this was barbaric; everyone knows the correct wine to serve with Fricassee of Labrador is red. “I find a Bordeaux brings out the nuttier notes, especially if you are eating a haunch.” Said Donvict Trump.

His opponent was left almost speechless. Kamala’s advisers had not thought about preparing the Democrat candidate for this particular line of questioning. Clearly caught on the hop, Kamala claimed she has never eaten the family pet. A shock admission, one that immediately lost her any chance of winning over undecided redneck swamp dwellers.

A spokesman for the Haitian community tried to defend the practice by saying America was supposed to be a free country, and anyone can drink anything “they damn well please”. “Hey, we like the sweet fizziness, it makes us happy. Please don’t shoot my kids.” Said Ramirez.

Meanwhile, cat lovers seem to prefer a dry white. One lady told our reporter that a Sauvignon Blanc goes down well when one is dining on pussy.

Trumpton’s running dog, Cletus Vance, hadn’t received his fearless leader’s message, but stood up for America by claiming that down in swampland they prefer good old American Beer with their gator. “We love a Bud or a Schlitz when we chow down on the gator it doesn’t disguise the delicate gator taste. The great thing about American Beer is you can drink 24 cans of it and not feel a thing. Wine isn’t practical for swamp dining; it doesn’t taste right. We tend to use it to cure trench foot.”

Kamala Harris had the final word at the debate, “WTF is going on? Did I wake up in the Twilight Zone?”

Meanwhile, in the US, some sort of government continues.

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