Tue. Jan 25th, 2022
Borough Market, a little pretentious? Surely not

Indignation spread across the artisan market community, when a crudely worded complaint was propagated on social media.

Tourist Trevor Manley, who can only be described as ‘northern’, felt that his visit to Borough Market was ‘poor value for money.’

Feeling ‘misunderstood and undervalued for their quintessential craft-personship’, stall holders responded bitterly, by suggesting that Manley had not appreciated the market’s ‘exemplary ambience’.

Retorting fiercely, Manley informed us, ‘I paid £12.50 to eat a very average fish supper, out of a box, standing up in the pissing rain. Tweed, cashmere scarves and posh olives as far as the eye could see but no bloody seats.

When responding to misinterpreting the plaza’s lively character, Manley riposted, ‘Atmosphere? You should come to t’ Blackpool working man’s club, when our Barry puts meat raffle on. That’ll learn those yuppies a thing or two.’

A spokesperson from Borough, passive-aggressively suggested that Manley should frequent the local Wetherspoon on his next visit, as he was likely to feel ‘more at home there.’


By Lady Tamsyn Marie

Lady Tamsyn Marie elegant, charming and more vicious than Mary Poppins

The Chatty Chimp, where we don't do fake news, all our stories are 100% made up!