Sun. May 22nd, 2022
UKIP and Pro Brexit protest

The Home Office says there are too many people in the U.K. The optimum population number is 50 million, 17 million below the actual number living here. A task force was set up to establish which 17 million people need to be deported.

Arrangements have been made with Australia and America to receive our excess numbers. Australia desperately needs bartenders, as all the native bar staff work in Europe, and America always needs more gun-shop employees.

Mass deportations commence soon, but the finalised identities are still unknown. It’s expected criminals will top the list, and ironically they’ll be  Australia bound.

The economically inactive, claiming-on-the-state brigade are next – the people who really do believe they are owed thousands in PPI compensation because they watch daytime television.

Older people, who drain the State are looking at a one way ticket, too, and if it hadn’t been for Brexit, Benidorm would have been a possible destination for them.

Financial Service employees have also been highlighted; despite attending the office for forty hours per week, they achieve nothing of value to society. It’s thought no-one will notice them missing.

Unfortunately there is a cross over between categories, reducing the numbers eligible for a free holiday, For example; the overlap between the active criminal community and senior financial services executives.

The Government, facing a shortfall against its 17 million target decided it could simply deport the Leave voters. After all, they were bound to be one or more of; the criminal class, economically inactive, old or performing a useless occupation.

Mr Napton, the junior civil servant who proposed the idea, has been promoted to a more senior role on account of smart thinking and Leave voters have been advised to expect a knock on the door.


By Colin

Colin is one of our more experienced writers, he is very fond of a cup of tea, a bourbon biscuit and a bit of a nap in the middle of the afternoon. Been noted to express disapproval with a hrrump!

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