Wed. Apr 21st, 2021
Snowflakes

Brexit Day saw heavy falls of Snowflake in middle England, Scotland and The Home Counties.

The Met Office was caught out by yesterday’s heavy fall of Snowflake. This was especially surprising as the air temperature was a very respectable 10 degrees.

Apparently, the inundation of Snowflake was caused by Brexity conditions which spread South over the last three years. As a result of the heavy fall, The Met Office is issuing a yellow weather warning, which will remain in place for the rest of the year.

As the Snowflake melts residents can expect to see floods of salty tears bringing rivers of regret and a shortage of good French cheese.

Floods in the North
River of salty tears

Giles Giles from Islington explained that he felt duty-bound to be personally offended and ashamed at what the nation had become and that he was joining together with others to cry themselves to sleep.

Furthermore, we won’t stop declaring our love for the EU, no matter how successful Brexit is. We will still be going for a nice march in London on a Spring Day, handing over our 50p’s to migrant charities and wearing tee shirts with funny protest slogans (see chattychimp-shop.com).

Snowflake

Meanwhile, Wetherspoons have announced a Snowflake relief package. Anyone affected by the Brexity conditions can go to one of their pubs where they will receive discounted British Beer, a Union Jack hat and a hearty ‘Cheer up mate, it’s just bants’.

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By Id

Id, is a bit of a wild one

The Chatty Chimp, where we don't do fake news, all our stories are 100% made up!