Sun. May 22nd, 2022
Aston's to become unaffordable to those on benefits

There was outrage and disbelief across the country as Aston Martin revealed the price of their cars would have to rise, following Brexit.

Many of those working on low wages, whose income is topped up by benefits, have seen no increase in payments this year. This means many won’t be able to upgrade to Aston Martin’s latest model.

Wetherspoons Barman, Ian Napton voiced the concerns of many, I am on a zero hours contract, paying minimum wage and the tight fisted bastards who come into the pub never tip. The family are disappointed, we were¬† looking forward to upgrading to this years model, but that will be out of the question now, its going to be unaffordable.”

The company said that the increase was not their fault, they’ve warned that Brexit would be a disaster for the UK car industry, before adding “If someone at Wetherspoons is buying one of our cars then they had better own the company.”

Industry watchers were quick to dispel rumours that Aston Martin are simply using Brexit as a handy excuse to bump up prices. One said, “They’re British, they wouldn’t do that.” When it was pointed out that their largest shareholder was an Italian Private Equity Fund, he added, “Maybe they would.

Remainers were quick to take to Social Media to express joyful delight in telling people that Boris Johnson didn’t put ‘Aston Martin’s to cost more’ on the side of a bus.


By Bernard

Bernard has been with us since the beginning. Bright, funny and blessed with a sharp satirical edge are things he wish had been said about him.

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