Scientists, working at Cretinous College, Camford, have solved one of science’s greatest mysteries, Why is chocolate milk brown?

After a series of trials, much money and a completely fortuitous observation by one of the cleaners, scientists confirmed that chocolate milk gets its colour from Brown cows. 

Professor Ian Napton explained “We spent several years and a shed load of money looking at cow genetics, performing cross breeding studies and studying the origins of chocolate milk but without success.”

“One lunchtime I had a bottle of chocomilko on the table. A cleaner saw the milk and, noticing the brown cows in our research field quipped, ‘”I bet it comes from brown cows”. 

“Well, it was a eureka moment. In his ignorance the oik had stumbled on a universal truth, brown cows give chocolate milk. Immediately understanding the implications, we set out to test it. We got Daisy into the milking shed. After a couple of good firm tugs the yard was covered in chocolate milkshake. We’d done it.”

Commenting on his discovery’s future applications, “It’s still early days but already McDonalds have asked us to develop a line of Strawberry Cows, in time for the summer. We’ve submitted a research proposal to examine the feasibility of raising the cows in a cold store in order to produce ready made Chocolate Ice Cream. Exciting times.”