Leave voters everywhere are indignant at the latest outrage they are convinced evil Remainers are behind, the scrapping of The Jeremy Kyle Show.
Speaking from behind his copy of The Daily Mail, Barry Gammon fumed, “It’s the PC Brigade gone mad. Just because someone topped himself after Jeremy caught him out playing away, the rest of us miss out on our morning entertainment. ITV should stand up to the naysayers.”
The format of the show was to encourage gormless participants to air their dirty laundry on national television, with a “lie detector” on hand to provide evidence of wrongdoings, such as infidelity. Jeremy Kyle himself would egg the idiots on and collect a decent salary, safe in the knowledge that only the people who also watch ITV2 and would tune in. Sadly, one such participant, apparently caught out by the lie detector, committed suicide after appearing on the show.
Gammon was in no doubt as to the origins of the shenanigans. “This lot have no respect for the will of the people. We voted to leave and we want to watch Jeremy Kyle. Anyone who doesn’t want those things probably isn’t even British. I blame the Remainers, who just won’t accept we won.”
Media lovies everywhere have been saddened that it has taken the death of a vulnerable participant to take the show off air, but are glad to see the back of it anyway.
Meanwhile, Danny Baker is believed to have pitched an idea for a replacement show to ITV about poking fun at the overprivileged.