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Boris says ‘it’s a good day to bury bad news under Bury’

Fans of Bury Football Club are livid today after Prime Minister Boris Johnson took away their momentary “top of the headlines” position on the BBC News website. 

The club does not ordinarily make the headlines, even in Bury, but the sad business of a football club going into liquidation has captured the public’s hearts. 

We were the main story on the BBC overnight,” said Bury fan Ian Napton. “We were still the top story in the morning, then that **** Johnson took the last of our dignity away, announcing that it’s his way or the high way over Brexit and we disappeared off the news pages in a heartbeat. Is he a Rochdale fan, or something? ****”

Fans of the Lancashire club are devastated after facing expulsion from the football league, and despite the fierce tribal rivalries which football creates, fans of many other clubs had rallied around to express sympathy in the club’s darkest hour. 

Speculation is rife in Westminster that the Prime Minister was all too aware of the Bury story and had hoped to slip his “Prorogation of Parliament” plan out largely unnoticed under the cover of the interest in the football club’s story. He reportedly joked that “it was a good day to bury bad news.” Alas for him, several thousands of pesky journalists were all over him and the “**** off, Boris” petition collected its nine millionth signature.

Brexit continues, but very sadly, at least for the time being, Bury FC does not.

RIP The Shakers.