Today, at the Tory Party Conference, Boris Johnson unveiled his big Brexit busting plan.

In short, Boris has pledged to get a big rubber and erase the word ‘Backstop’ from Theresa May’s Withdrawl Agreement. Everything else stays the same.

One star-struck delegate, said, “Brilliant, absolutely brilliant, who else but Boris could have thought of that. I mean I have no knowledge of Anglo-Irish history, nor any understanding of the Good Friday Agreement but even I know it is a good thing. To be honest, I’ve always been a bit puzzled as to what a ‘Backstop’ was, so rubbing it out makes perfect sense.”

When asked why after, 6 months, it took so long to come up with the idea of rubbing out the word ‘Backstop’ a Cabinet Office spokesman said, “Do you have any idea how long it takes to request a big rubber from central stores? It was touch and go whether it would be here in time.”

Jacob Rees-Mogg was adamant that “Taking out the ‘Backstop’ was all I ever wanted, apart from that, I was very happy with Theresa’s deal. We’ve all pretended we’ve had a go at negotiating a new deal but we all know it won’t work, so can we all get on with inevitable no-deal Brexit, I need the cash to buy Dorset as a Christmas present for my wife.”

Meanwhile, one Irishman commented, “Jesus, what bunch of feckin eejits! Not a feckin clue. I’m off to order some garden fertiliser.”