Boris unveils plans to rub out the word ‘Backstop’ from the Withdrawal Act

Today, at the Tory Party Conference, Boris Johnson unveiled his big Brexit busting plan.

In short, Boris has pledged to get a big rubber and erase the word ‘Backstop’ from Theresa May’s Withdrawl Agreement. Everything else stays the same.

One star-struck delegate, said, “Brilliant, absolutely brilliant, who else but Boris could have thought of that. I mean I have no knowledge of Anglo-Irish history, nor any understanding of the Good Friday Agreement but even I know it is a good thing. To be honest, I’ve always been a bit puzzled as to what a ‘Backstop’ was, so rubbing it out makes perfect sense.”

When asked why after, 6 months, it took so long to come up with the idea of rubbing out the word ‘Backstop’ a Cabinet Office spokesman said, “Do you have any idea how long it takes to request a big rubber from central stores? It was touch and go whether it would be here in time.”

Jacob Rees-Mogg was adamant that “Taking out the ‘Backstop’ was all I ever wanted, apart from that, I was very happy with Theresa’s deal. We’ve all pretended we’ve had a go at negotiating a new deal but we all know it won’t work, so can we all get on with inevitable no-deal Brexit, I need the cash to buy Dorset as a Christmas present for my wife.”

Meanwhile, one Irishman commented, “Jesus, what bunch of feckin eejits! Not a feckin clue. I’m off to order some garden fertiliser.”

Down with this sort of thing!