Tue. Jan 25th, 2022

Master Boris Johnson Jr has been summoned to the headmaster’s study to explain his behaviour at Assembly. A video has been circulated on the school’s Twhats Up group showing a group of children laughing, joking and making fun of the headmaster’s intelligence, behaviour and morals.

The Headmaster, Mr D Trump Esq, was reportedly so furious when he saw the childrens behaviour that he was unable to finish his Happy Meal.

It appears that it was the French Exchange student, Emmanuel, who started the mocking. But what is most concerning for the school’s reputation is that the Head Boy, Master Boris Johnson was clearly involved in the sorry escapade. He was caught ‘bangus tu rightius’, as the legal beagles would say. 

Master Johnson has been summoned to the Head’s study where he is to be given a chance to explain his behaviour. It’s likely that Boris will lose some merit points, have to make a fawning, grovelling public apology and hand over a serious wedge of cash or the NHS in order to make things right.

Whilst the Head has always treated Boris like a favoured son, or at least a puppy of who he was particularly fond, he is not expected to remove him as Head Boy. Having recently sacked the Head Girl in order to replace her with Master Johnson it is unlikely that Mr Trump will want to make another change at this stage of term.

The incident has served as a timely reminder to the rest of the school to be on their best behaviour whilst the Headmaster is doing his rounds.


By Wild Gerald

Gerald has been running around the country, flinging poo, for many years. He is no longer wild, merely slightly annoyed.

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