A prestigious car manufacturer, has been forced to issue pre-sale agreements, following embarrassment, when a novice owner, gave way to an oncoming, ‘inferior’ vehicle.
Outraged SUV alliance members, witnessed in horror, as Ian Napton not only ‘allowed the handbag-style car’ through but also acknowledged the ‘blue collar worker’, with what could only be described as a ‘vulgar thumbs-up.’
Following an emergency committee meeting, it was agreed that ‘appropriate driver etiquette regulations’, would be issued to prospective SUV drivers. Included in this was: forcing your way out of junctions, cutting up vehicles on roundabouts, undertaking on motorways and speeding up, if a pedestrian was attempting to cross the road.
Initially unaware of his ‘faux-pas’, Napton issued an apology stating, ‘I promise to make amends for my wrongdoings. Today, I made a start by parking across two parking bays, in a busy car park, then in a disabled bay at the supermarket.’
Responding to the statement, the SUV alliance agreed to ‘uphold Napton’s membership’, on the understanding that he ‘avidly endorse all further protocols.’
A spokesperson confirmed, ‘Without taking a firm stance, we risk losing our bourgeois edge. Whatever next? Thanking bus-drivers?!’