It is with heavy heart that I announce my retirement from snarky commentary on world events. I am embarking on a new, exciting endeavour. Inspired by my close friend, Jared “Nepotizzy” Kushner, I am going to hang out my shingle. (Sorry for the old-timey phrase, it means I’m going into business.)

From this point on, this Old Guy will be performing medical operations, life-saving or elective. Most of you are saying, “That’s great. I had no idea he’d even gone to medical school.” Here’s the best part… I didn’t! Like Jared, I have read some books. As it turns out, the books I’ve read, (back in college) were Anatomy and Physiology books! Isn’t that great? Surely the human body isn’t as complicated a thousand/+ years of unrest in the Middle East, right? 

Sadly, I have not married into a family that will criminally bumble through affairs affecting the entire world. There may, in fact, be some people who disagree with my decision to perform operations for anyone who lets me. Lucky for me, there is no governmental authority that will try to stop me from doing something I really think I should be able to do, whether I have the training or not…

As it turns out, I have been informed that there are, in fact, laws in place to keep me from operating without a medical degree. It’s so strange that they won’t let someone meddle in matters they have no training for, just because it will cost lives. Oh well. Back to the snark. So, anyone hear anything new about the impeached, orange kumquat rage-tweeting about toilets and lighting?