Following last year’s announcement of an additional 20,000 Bobbies, the Police have launched a nationwide search for them.

Anyone who has seen the 20,000 missing Bobbies is asked to contact their local police station.

Chief Constable, Ian Napton explained “Well, it’s a bit of a mystery, you’d think they would be easy to spot, 20,000 men in blue uniforms with pointy hats cover quite an area. Somebody must have seen them.

They are easy to recognise, generally standing at about 6 foot and with a tendency to say ‘Allo! Allo! Allo! What’s going on here then?

If a member of the public does spot them they are asked not approach the missing Bobbies as they are easily frightened and inclined to run and hide in the nearest pub. Simply make them a nice cup of tea, perhaps with a biscuit, and leave it out in the open. Then retreat to a safe distance and contact your local police station and leave a message which, as they’ve gotten rid of the support staff no one will look at.”

In a related matter, the public’s help has also been requested by the Department of Health, who rather carelessly, seemed to have lost 30,000 nurses. “Nicky Morgan did the maths, so we know they are here somewhere, but we just can’t find them. It’s a real puzzler.” Said Matt Hancock.

Meanwhile, the Government continues.