e-gull drones to disperse illegal crowds, raves and demo’s
E-Gulls can stay up for hours, monitoring events before squawking, pooping and flying down to nick your chips
Drones to deliver e-bollockings to groups of 6 or more
Howler drones will identify groups of more than 6, then they will deliver an e-bollocking until they've gone
Met Police to teach cops not to get caught being racist
He was wearing a loud shirt, after dark, in a built up area.
Police to enforce social distancing by using a British Yardstick
The French will make The British Yardstick by cutting the handles off OAP's walking sticks. Under EU rules, the stick…
The Police launch hunt for 20,000 missing Bobbies
"You'd think 20,000 men in pointy hats would be easy to find, but no, not a sign of them" says…
Line of Duty returns for 6th series with even more acronyms
Line of Duty returns for a 6th series, chock full of pointless acronyms. The breakthrough came when the writer discovered…
Ministry Of Defence lock up lazy Scottish Tourist
The Ministry of Defence has locked up a tired Scottish Tourist after he had a 'bit of a sit down'…
The Incredible Hulk loses his testicles on a visit to Luxembourg
Meanwhile, somewhere in Luxembourg The Incredible Hulk has lost his balls. The giant orbs have suddenly disappeared, no longer swinging…