Boris Johnson has once again been involved in some blue cheese thinking. Following a particularly heavy dinner, he had a dream showing him how to solve the countries flooding problem.

Britain is to be turned into the Boris Island Waterpark!

In recent years the country has been hit by a series of very heavy storms. These caused widespread flooding and enormous sums of money were needed to put things right. Many insurance company shareholders were left out of pocket.

By turning the country into the Boris Island Waterpark the flooding becomes a non-issue because everything is supposed to be flooded! Genius!

“Rather than spending gazillions on expensive but ultimately futile building projects, let’s try to think a bit differently. If we stick in a few waterslides, mark out a lazy river and put up a sign saying ‘Plunge Pool’ we can start selling £20 per day family tickets and make a fortune.” Said one old Etonian.

Under the plan, everybody in the country is to be issued with a rubber inner tube, a set of arm-bands and a pair of novelty trunks. Swimming lessons will be compulsory, although, being able to swim won’t.

Nigel Farage was incensed, “Another example of blatant leftie bias. Here we go, pandering to the migrants again. Before you know it they’ll be over here with their rubbers dingies, not paying the admission fee and floating straight into Birmingham.”