Self proclaimed super villain Perkin De’Ath was arrested after a dawn raid by anti terrorist officers, Special Branch and scientists from the chemical and biological research facility at Porton Down.
Authorities received a tip off from neighbours and nearby residents when a large number experienced infection of their genitalia. They were horrified to discover to be suffering from gonorrhoea, a sexually transmitted infection (STi) normally caused by unprotected vaginal, oral or anal sex.
After accusations by partners and checking of teenagers in the area, suspicion then centred on De’Ath’s house in Downton Abbey Road, Chigwell where a strange glow and vapour could be seen coming from his shed at the bottom of the garden.
It was discovered he planned to ‘donate’ to NHS staff shower gel infected with a strain of gonorrhoea developed to survive in a soap solution. His plan was thwarted however due to him leaving a box containing bottles of the substance outside his garage by accident. This was inadvertently collected by a local community volunteer and distributed in the area.
Further interviews ascertained De’Ath wanted to stop the local population enjoying themselves by having sex with NHS staff to give them all the ‘clap’ at an arranged time later in the week.
Categories:Monkey Life, Monkey News
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