Sun. Nov 1st, 2020
The Pope

President Trump’s latest Twatter post celebrates Boris Johnson’s miraculous recovery and takes the credit for healing the Prime Minister.

Hey, it was nothing, I just said “Hey, God! Come on man!”

The Twat reads, “Congrats to Boris on beating the Chink Disease, I knew you would. I prayed for you, so you got better. God listens to me, that’s why he made me President.”  

Many Americans now believe that Donald Trump is the chosen one, the son of God and heir to the Kingdom of Heaven. A campaign has begun to make Donald a living Saint, with his healing of Boris Johnson claimed as a scientifically proven, bona fide miracle.

I’d like to thank Donald for everything he has done, if I’d relied on the NHS I’d be a goner!

In his Twatter Feed, he humbly asks people not to make a big fuss over the healing, it was just something that was his duty as a Christian. If he sees a rich, powerful, white man in trouble, he feels the spirit move him to help. St Trump doesn’t want anything in return for his heroic act, although if Boris did choose to reward him with a Knighthood, the NHS or a go on Kate, that would be fine and dandy.

Before adding, “I am the greatest President, I’m a beautiful President, and once this crisis is over, rich, white Americans can once again be assured that the economy will be even more beautiful.”

Meanwhile, despite the thoughts and prayers of millions, and the intercession of The Pope, the Corona Virus continues.


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By Binty

The Chatty Chimp, where we don't do fake news, all our stories are 100% made up!