Chris GraylingMonkey News

Chris Grayling earns his own chapter in The Book of Heroic Failures

The former Minister for Cock-Up’s, Chris T! Grayling has been rewarded with his own chapter in the best-selling, Book of Heroic Failures.

Beating many of his contemporaries, Chris Grayling has risen to the top of his profession. When it comes to the colossal cock-up, he is without equal.

“Ironically, it is in the field of failure that he is outstandingly successful. We are thinking of giving him his own book!”

Ian Napton, Publisher

Some of Grayling’s noted successes include, destroying the justice system, prisoner rights, and the probation service. More recently he successfully oversaw the award of a £14 Million contract to a freight company with no boats, drove lorries pointlessly around Kent, closed down the rail network and Gatwick Airport, cocked-up the 3rd runway at Heathrow and organised a training contract with Saudi Arabia.

However his latest achievement has given everyone a good laugh. The House of Commons voted to choose a new Chair of The Intelligence Committee.

Despite a government majority of 80, the backing of the Prime Minister, the endorsement and strategizing of Dominic Cummings, Failing Grayling managed to lose to someone nobody had ever heard of. It was a remarkable achievement.

You can’t make this stuff up! We know, we tried!

When it comes to public failure, neither Patel, Hancock or the geographically challenged Raab, can hold a candle to Parliament’s most inept member.  

“Look I do miracles but there’s nothing I can do for him, he is on a whole different level! Have you tried Miracle Max?”

Jesus Christ, Miracles a speciality

Meanwhile, Gary from Eastbourne was more philosophical, “Thank goodness for that! Could you imagine if he had won?”

Meanwhile, the Government continues…

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