Monkey Life

Humans kicked out of Ape family in disgrace

Chimps and Bonobos have filed a lawsuit to have Humans kicked out of the Hominins family. Biologists classify Humans, Chimpanzees and Bonobos in the same taxonomic tribe called Hominins. The Chimps and Bonos are royally hacked off by the recent behaviour of humans, whom they say have brought disgrace to the whole tribe, and want them out.

When asked about Humans, a Bono spokesman said

Ooo Ooo Ook!

rolled his eyes and made a vigorous hand gesture; the meaning was self-evident.

The basis of the action appears to be that Humans have buggered up everything that they’ve touched. rain forests, oceans, rivers, even the atmosphere. Their lawyer, says Chimps admit that a predominantly fruit diet means that they do contribute a fair amount to methane pollution, but not on the scale of the hairless wonders (their derogatory term for Humans).

The legal team representing the Chimps and Bonos have declined payment for their services on the ground that such socially important work should be done “pro bono”.

Get an ape themed shirt from our store!

A strategically shaved Ape

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s