Fri. Dec 4th, 2020

Chimps and Bonobos have filed a lawsuit to have Humans kicked out of the Hominins family. Biologists classify Humans, Chimpanzees and Bonobos in the same taxonomic tribe called Hominins. The Chimps and Bonos are royally hacked off by the recent behaviour of humans, whom they say have brought disgrace to the whole tribe, and want them out.

When asked about Humans, a Bono spokesman said

Ooo Ooo Ook!

rolled his eyes and made a vigorous hand gesture; the meaning was self-evident.

The basis of the action appears to be that Humans have buggered up everything that they’ve touched. rain forests, oceans, rivers, even the atmosphere. Their lawyer, says Chimps admit that a predominantly fruit diet means that they do contribute a fair amount to methane pollution, but not on the scale of the hairless wonders (their derogatory term for Humans).

The legal team representing the Chimps and Bonos have declined payment for their services on the ground that such socially important work should be done “pro bono”.


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By Simian MacAque

Simian, sits and looks at the world and wonders, how the hell did they become the dominant species?

The Chatty Chimp, where we don't do fake news, all our stories are 100% made up!