Dracula says stop the stop the countMonkey News

Dracula sues Trump for discrimination as ‘Stop The Count’ protests grow

Dracula has filed a lawsuit against President Trump, citing social class discrimination.

It is understood that the movements of the venerable vampire have been severely curtailed, resulting lost ‘business’ opportunities.

It is verrry frustrate you know? I voss doink fine, mindink mine own business, vhen dis Trumpf guy tells everybody to be ‘Stoppink das Count’. Now, I cannot go out for ze bite without some dumkopf in das baseball hat gettink in my face. It ist das pain in the neck, you know? Especially für them.

Count Dracula, He’s just this guy

A Whitehouse lackey has apologised to the Count, explaining that their intentions had been misunderstood.

We told our people that counts in favour of Sleepy Joe should be stopped. A misunderstanding arose when they thought that Mr. Dracula was a Biden supporter because of the blue silk sash on which he wears his conservative party crest.

Billy-Bob Napton, Redneck

Now they understand that the Count is a blood-sucking capitalist, there should be no further problems.

Meanwhile, a grade school maths teacher with an abacus has been employed by the Whitehouse to explain counting to the President.

Categories:Monkey News, Politics

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