Mon. Jul 4th, 2022
NASA and Space X Launch

NASA, the American Space Agency, has launched four astronauts to the International Space Station in a vehicle provided by Elon Musk’s SpaceX company. The mission will last for six months and involve four spacewalks, as America moves towards returning to the moon within four years and preparing for a mission to Mars.

Not to be outdone, Ant and Dec have launched “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here” from a castle in Wales.

It’s a matter of national priorities. British people aren’t interested in all that highfalutin science stuff. They want to see D-list celebrities buried in a box with rats and snakes whilst performing pointless tasks. The facts stand for themselves. The space launch was watched by practically nobody, but millions tuned in for Ant and Dec. Advertisers were delighted.

Professor Brian Napton, Skyentist

These facts were not lost this morning on the Office for National Statistics.

These viewers are the same people who voted for Boaty McBoatface, and they probably voted for Brexit, too. Although we wouldn’t want them to be in charge of a NASA space launch, we can’t entirely ignore them, either. There’s no point in swimming against the tide. This is what British¬†people want, so it’s what they’re going to get.

Ian Napton, Number Cruncher

The astronauts are due to dock with the International Space Station just over a day after the launch.

Meanwhile, Britain continues.


By Colin

Colin is one of our more experienced writers, he is very fond of a cup of tea, a bourbon biscuit and a bit of a nap in the middle of the afternoon. Been noted to express disapproval with a hrrump!

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