Fri. Dec 3rd, 2021
Fat Lady Sings

Operatic soprano Obeesi Bracegirdle, The Fat Lady, has told the Chimp of her frustration with performing for the USA presidential election.

Well, Honey, the deal was that I would sing the “The Star-Spangled Banner” just the once. My singing was supposed to formally mark the end of the process. You know the phrase “it ain’t over until…”. Well Honey, so far I’ve sung that song fifty-seven times. It’s getting to be like Groundhog Day.

Obeesi Bracegirdle, The Girl with the Golden Larynx

Obeesi’s ordeal began a couple of days after polling day when the press called the election for Joe Biden. Since then, the incumbent President Trump has been arguing the toss at every opportunity. Each time he kicks off a lawsuit and gets defeated the Fat Lady has to sing again. The orchestra is also getting annoyed by the repetitions:

It’s not like we aren’t used to playing the same tunes. Working on Broadway shows is pretty repetitive. But this is a different level. Playing one tune over and over to make a living is a specialist skill. It gives you an appreciation of what it’s like to be Chris De Burgh.

Sir Phil Armonica, Professional Stick Waver

The recent Electoral College vote may signal that the last performance may be on the horizon for Obeesi. She told us:

Honey, if those boys don’t get their shit together this time, somebody’s gonna get their ass whooped.

The Rotund Warbler

In political circles, that threat might not be the deterrent Obeesi thinks it is.


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By Simian MacAque

Simian, sits and looks at the world and wonders, how the hell did they become the dominant species?

The Chatty Chimp, where we don't do fake news, all our stories are 100% made up!