Tracy Hancock was disgusted to learn that her husband, Gerald, has been declared fit for work even though he was registered dead 7 months ago.

The issue came to light when the Department of Work and Pensions completed a home assessment of Mr Hancock’s mental and physical health. He was deemed fit for work as he had two legs, his mental health seemed unimpaired and he’d some communication skills.

Mrs Hancock explained, “Yes he did have two legs, but he’d taken one off and was using to batter the cat. As for his mental health it’s hard to tell, he was never one for talking about his feelings. I still don’t know if he’s come to terms with being dead.”

She added, “We spoke to the assessor about jobs, given his limited conversational ability, he just grunts and groans, recognisable words are difficult to make out. When I asked how she thought that would affect his chances of getting a job, she said ‘He could always work in a BT Call Centre.’ I couldn’t really argue with that.”

What most annoys Tracy is the government issued the death certificate so they knew he was dead before they sent the assessor round. “The Personal Independence Payment would really make a difference to Gerald’s quality of death. The extra financial help would help us buy air fresheners, splints, needle, thread and superglue but they said he wasn’t entitled to any help. If they weren’t going to pay out, why did they send her round?”

She added, “It’s not that he doesn’t want to work, but the feasting on the flesh of the living doesn’t come across well at interview and makes it difficult for him to work as part of a team. He’s not being lazy, he just can’t get around like he used to.”