Monkey Games

Aaron Ramsey set for a big money transfer to a top European subs bench

Following the news that his Arsenal contract would not be renewed, Arsenal’s Welsh midfielder Aaron Ramsey looks set for a move away from the Emirates. Though he was initially linked with the likes of Liverpool and Manchester United, it seems that Ramsey might be set to follow in the footsteps of a number of great British exports.

For his part, the Welshman seems excited by the prospect, “I look at what Gareth Bale has done at Madrid, for instance, in really making that subs bench his own. I think if I end up at Bayern Munich or PSG then I’d certainly like to try this for myself, maybe install a mini fridge and a foot rest so I’m really well prepared for my three-minute cameos against Guingamp and FC St Pauli.”

Ramsey went on to reveal that it was not just Bale in who’s footsteps he was hoping to follow, “I massively look up to the likes of Jay Bothroyd and Andy Keogh, they showed that it’s not impossible for British players to succeed in countries like Thailand and Australia, they showed that as long as you’ve got someone willing to pay your wages, and Google Maps on your phone, there really are no limitations on where you  could end up.”

Asked if there were any British traditions he wanted to keep up once he found his new home, Ramsey was emphatic, “Well of course, I won’t want to learn the language at all, and integrating with the local culture will be a massive no-no. I’ll be looking to drink heavily, insult the natives, and maybe start a few fights before launching into a heroic rendition of ‘two world wars and one world cup’.”

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