Spurs have confirmed that the asphalt and bus parking will be in place before Jose’s first game at WHL.

A spokesman for Tottenham Hotspur has confirmed that the new playing surface will be installed and all the bus parking lines painted before their next game. The new manager was very clear that buses should be able to line up in front of the goal, without damaging the surface of the pitch.

“Following the sudden appointment of The Special One we were concerned that the groundstaff wouldn’t be able to give him a surface suitable for his teams preferred style of play. Fortunately, some of the fans work on the roads and they were able to get their hands on a discounted lorry load of tarmac that had been ‘over-ordered’”

Whilst it was a simple job to rip up the recently installed pitch, there has been difficulty with the entrances. When the new stadium was designed no-one thought it would be necessary to drive buses on to the pitch. That said, there wasn’t anyone in football who thought Tottenham would be lucky enough to get Senor Mourinho as their manager.

As the pitch work continues, Jose has sent the team on an intensive driving course. Many in the side don’t have a driving licence that allows for the carriage of paying customers and unless they pass the passenger-carrying driving test, they may have to be sold to Arsenal.