Monkey Games

Useless gets a new synonym – “Milky”

In the aftermath of their catastrophic, rudderless capitulation at the hands of the mighty Manchester City, Saints boss Mark ‘the moaner’ Hughes was able to delight language fans everywhere with a fun and delightful new synonym for the phrase ‘mind-bendingly terrible’.

Football fan, lexicographer and model train enthusiast, Len Wilks, was on hand to explain why this is such an exciting moment, “Basically we’ve been trying for years to come up with a way of saying, in just one word, that a team has been mind-bendingly terrible. For a while we used to say they’d ‘had a bit of a Michael Ricketts’, but we never had that one succinct word to get the job done, and now we have, all thanks to Sparky.”

For those outside of the loop, or who’s subscription to Southampton Fan TV has improbably  lapsed, Sparky used his post-match press conference to describe Saints’ defending in their 6-1 defeat to City as being “milky”.

This means that we can all now look forward an enjoyable future of describing everything from Fulham’s defence to Tony Pulis’ fashion sense as nice and milky.

Football fans all around the world have leapt on this opportunity, talking up the milky prospect of another international break, the even milkier prospect of Wayne Rooney’s international farewell and the unbeatably milky prospect of Mark Hughes continuing to manage football teams. Looks like we’re all set for another milk-tastic season.

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