Monkey News

Following the successes of the latest Martian landing NASA publicly thank the Thoughts & Prayers team for all their help

Following the safe landing of NASA’s latest Mars explorer, Insight, on to the surface of Mars, NASA wanted to publicly thank all those who made it happen.

Andrew Jackson said, “The landing would not have been possible without the hard work, dedication and expertise of all of those working on the praying team. Without their constant kneeling, praying, bible reading, beseeching, invoking, pleading, finger crossing, Facebook likes and candle lighting, the mission would not have been a success.

The mission involved a 300 Million mile space journey, from one spinning rock to another, over 7 months, at an average speed of 6,200 mph before the lander was slowed to 5 mph, allowing it to land gently on the Martian surface. It survived landing temperatures of 2,700 degree Fahrenheit. The scientists and engineers have pulled off a remarkable engineering feat.

Mr Jackson went on to add, “We often overlook the contribution of the faithful, how their praying and pleading can count for more than all the calculators, computers and slide rules in the world. They diligently prayed over every step of the process, from design to landing, ensuring the missions success.”

Father Billy Bob Williams said, “Whilst it is great to have our work acknowledged, it’s really all down to the big guy upstairs. Nothing happens without his say-so, it’s very gratifying to know that our constant begging has helped influence his decision to let the mission be a success. Although, thanks to ineffability we don’t really understand why he did that.”

Whilst Insight has landed safely, the ceaseless work of the prayer team continues. They have picked up their hassocks, gathered their bibles, rosaries and restocked the Holy Water and are ready to pray for the success of the next mission, Lunar Base One.

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