Monkey News

Farage and Evans quit UKIP after discovering the party is ‘a little bit racist’

Two of UKIP’s leading lights, Nigel Farage and Suzanne Evans, have publicly quit UKIP after finding out the party was ‘a little bit racist’.

Apparently this came as a shock as they understood the party to be a force for enlightenment, inclusivity, change and goodness. They were, both, very disappointed to discover they were, in fact, the bad guys. 

Despite attending countless meetings, rallies, protests, campaigns and sitting outside numerous pubs both, were completely unaware that their audience, who were exclusively; white, shaven headed, sporting swastika tats, shouting racist slogans and making Nazi salutes, were ‘a little bit racist’.

Mr Farage explained that the last straw was the appointment of Tommy Robinson (Stephen Yaxley-Lennon) as an adviser to the party. Ironically after Nige announced he was leaving UKIP the party went on to ban Tommy, too.

The pair were stunned to discover they’d spent the last few years deciding UKIP policies, writing their manifesto, making rousing speeches, getting on Question Time, and publicly appealing to; mindless thugs, hooligans and Daily Mail readers.

Comments about Londonistan, stopping Muslim Immigrants, Syrian refugees, Romanian neighbours etc were all taken out of context. They feel it’s very unfair to blame the politics of the party on them. 

Their resignation has nothing to do with a General Election coming up. There’s no suggestion that a man who has tried, and failed to get into Parliament 7 times would want to be selected as a Conservative MP and have another go. Nor any suggestion that Suzanne, the former Tory Councillor had similar aims, although this time in a constituency where the electorate were not ‘educated, cultured and young’.

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