Wed. Oct 21st, 2020

Controversy abounds in sports broadcasting circles this week after it turned out that Lewis Hamilton was right to condemn his home town of Stevenage, a slum. 

“It’s all very well, said Jamie Carragher, but he should see where I grew up. Everyone thinks of Liverpool with its rows of immaculate terraced houses, just like a scene from Bread but, in reality, four of us lived in the outhouse round the back.”

 
Others waded in. “Carragher grew up in luxury,” said Alan Shearer. “I grew up in Newcastle and my next door neighbour was Peter Beardsley and that’s not a pretty sight to wake up to, I can tell you.”
 
Other professional footballers, like Paul Scholes also joined in, saying, “You should try growing up in Salford, what a shithole.” 
 

Meanwhile Lewis Hamilton was forced to issue an apology via Instagram for his ill-chosen words. “It wasn’t a terrible place to grow up,” Hamilton said, digging a deeper hole, “but, you know, when you live in Monaco, New York and Colorado, well, it just seems a bit of a dump. Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to say that.” It seems Mr Hamilton doesn’t live in Monaco for tax reasons alone. 

Mr Scholes added, “When I get together with Alan and Jamie we all agree on one thing, no matter how bad our upbringing was, we are just glad we didn’t grow up in Stevenage.”

Next week, we talk to Tom Daley about growing up in Plymouth. 


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By Colin

Colin is one of our more experienced writers, he is very fond of a cup of tea, a bourbon biscuit and a bit of a nap in the middle of the afternoon. Been noted to express disapproval with a hrrump!

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