Monkey News

Teenagers suffering anxiety, depression and PTSD as parents disconnect the WiFi over Xmas

NHS 111 was on red alert last night, after experiencing high call volumes, from teenagers suffering with mysterious ailments.

Ageing relatives insisting on WiFi lockdown, to play ‘good old fashioned’ festive games, is thought to have created panic and shock like symptoms amongst the youth.

One young girl was rendered speechless, as she was unable to upload a photo of her Christmas dinner to Facebook for at least an hour.

Further anxiety ricocheted through teens, as relatives insisted that they chat, using full sentences and say please and thank-you. Grandpa Bill from Kent was unrepentant during a game of scrabble, commenting that ‘There’s no bloody way Taine is getting a triple word score with IDK or WTF.’

Tilly Smythe-Baxter from Surrey claims to have suffered multiple traumas from being offline- from losing thirty followers on instagram, to the undignified exchange with Great Auntie Win, who insisted she play ‘pull my finger’, after a triple helping of sprouts.

If you or anyone else you know has experienced similar difficulties, from excessive exposure to the over thirties, please contact ‘

Categories:Monkey News, Xmas

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