Sat. Sep 25th, 2021

Every year celebrities have competed in an annual competition to come up with the most outlandish name for their offspring. Moon Unit and Heavenly Hurani were notable examples of this worrying trend.

In recent years, with the growth of social media and the need to generate headlines, articles and controversial debate for the armies of talking heads, they’ve gone a bit overboard.

Notable celebrity baby names now include; Pirate, Rebel, Audio Science, Legume, Banjo, Moxie Crimefighter, Psychosis Smith, Apple, Pear, Star-Fruit, Pilot Inspector and IKhyd U Knot.

However The Award for The Worst Celebrity Baby Name goes to rocker, hell raiser and noted drug fiend, Ian Napton, who in an inspired moment decided to name his new-born, Prestige Gazebos.

Asked about the unusual choice, Ian explained, “When my daughter was born we were on tour and I hadn’t slept for 3 days, what with all the groupies, nose candy, alcopops, uppers, downers and Rennie, I didn’t know what I was doing. When they asked me about naming her I saw a double glazing leaflet on a table and in big letters it said ‘Prestige Gazebos’ and apparently I said, “Yeah man, Prestige Gazebos, cool” and that was it, the name stuck.”

He went on to add, “Her mother’s not too pleased but at least it will make the  child stand out and apparently social media is in melt down over it so, that’s great too.” 

Apparently the trend is set to continue, with celebrities revealing names currently in focus group testing; Dental Plan, Ford Mustang, Gateshead, Imhotehp and Beelzebub Devourer of Worlds all scoring favourably.


By The Crown Prince

As you can see from his regal bearing his majesty is a fine specimen of ape hood. By way of disclaimer any suggestion of parties involving a Prince of the Realm are unfounded.

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