Last week the Department of Transport publicly admitted they’d made a mess of post Brexit freight handling plans. Many were puzzled as to why the breakdown of the freight contract with a ferry company with no boats, should result in the need to pay £33 million to Eurotunnel, a train operator but hey! that’s politics for you.

Just when things couldn’t get any worse for Chris Grayling, Transport Secretary, it’s transpired that following an administrative mix up, the £33 million contract was given to Island of Sodoff Railways rather than Eurotunnel.

Run by The Fat Controller and his sidekick Thomas the Tank, Sodoff Railways has been criticised for; exploitative working practices, sloppy time keeping and a poor accident and safety record. Many of their services require trucks, helicopters and the emergency services to rescue them, on a daily basis.

Ian Napton, Chris Grayling’s fixer, said, “It was just one of those things, a small clerical error but now we’ve done due diligence we believe Thomas and his friends can deliver.”

The Engines Percy and Toby added, “That’s easy for him to say, he doesn’t have to do the actual hauling. We’ll be the ones huffing, puffing and steaming in and out of that long tunnel 24 hours a day.”

Meanwhile a spokesman for Eurotunnel, rubbed his hands with glee and expressed surprised at the decision but felt that once it was all sorted they’d do very nicely on it. Personally, he hoped Chris Grayling would be kept on as he was doing a fantastic job. The company’s share price was up 20% on the news.