Sat. May 21st, 2022
Conservative Party Leader

The Government, has announced that it can never be replaced. Propped up by The DUP, The Conservative Party will have an indefinite crack at running the country.

Ian Napton, a Tory spokesman, speaking from Central Office, said, “Voting again at a future General Election would be undemocratic and destroy the country’s faith in politics. The people voted at a General Election in 2017 for these Members of Parliament and to do anything to try to change that would be to go against the will of the people. They’d never forgive us.”

Under the plan Mrs May will be the Prime Minister until she dies and Corbyn will be required to continue as Leader of The Opposition, because he’s not very good. Meanwhile, arrangements have been made for Peter Rees-Mogg to be  the next Prime Minister, but he’s currently only 11 years old and is more into cricket.

Backing for this proposal has been particularly strong among Conservative Party MPs in marginal seats and amongst those still needing to complete furnishing their second homes on Expenses.

A spokesman for the Labour Party breathed a sigh of relief, “Oh thank god for that, just for a moment I thought we were going to be in charge. It’s  much better being in opposition, we can claim the moral high ground with sensible, reasonable policies but without having to be responsible for making them work.”

A spokesperson for Laura Kuenssberg said, “Oh. Really?”

Brexit Continues


By Colin

Colin is one of our more experienced writers, he is very fond of a cup of tea, a bourbon biscuit and a bit of a nap in the middle of the afternoon. Been noted to express disapproval with a hrrump!

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