Scandal has erupted in a contemporary London office, with the introduction of gender neutral toilets.

‘Unseemly’ male bathroom antics, have been witnessed by female colleagues, who claim that ‘sacred informal etiquette has been broken.’

While many women plump for the stealthy, silent approach to toileting, men in contrast seem to prefer an unceremonious, convivial experience. Sharing gender neutral bathrooms is revealing somme unpleasant habits.

Witness reports suggest, there had been talking on the toilet, even between cubicles, alongside ‘running commentaries’ of bowel movements, complete with self-congratulatory expression.

Traumatised, Gillian Napton told us, ‘’As I was layering up the toilet tissue, to prevent unpleasant noises, I heard an eruption in the next cubicle, followed by ‘Slam-dunk..what a corker! He didn’t even attempt to mask the malicious odour. I felt compelled to spray for him, for fear that somebody might think it was me! ’’

Such is the adverse reaction to the controversial cloakroom activity, some have felt obligated to visit the adjoining coffee shop conveniences, or even going to the extreme length of colonic irrigation.

Mildly amused and unrepentant, Tim Wood mused, ‘So, women are too posh to poo it seems. They need to get over themselves a bit. Even the Queen has a dump. Sharing is caring, as far as I’m concerned.’