Controversy is surging through the Department of Education today as the vexed subject of sex education raises its head again.

Addressing Britain’s poor record on teenage pregnancies is a priority for the new Education Minister, Dr Ian Napton. “Have you been to Burnley lately and seen the number of young women pushing buggies? It’s unacceptable, and it’s costing the country a fortune in social housing. It’s very easy to control fertility, so we have to educate our young people.”

A national education campaign, jointly proposed and funded by condom maker, Durex and Boots The Chemist, and entitled “Keep Calm and Remain In” is due to launch on social media tomorrow, but has attracted criticism in some quarters.

Father of six and staunch Catholic, Jacob Rees-Mogg, said, “The majority said they were in favour of pulling out. Remaining in comes with consequences and I can assure you that keeping calm ceases to be an option.”

Unbelievably, Brexit still continues.