Senior Tory MP’s found themselves in disarray last night after realising they would need to thank Jeremy Corbyn for the break down in talks with Theresa May.

Many senior Tory MP’s have been apoplectic with rage since The Prime Minister announced that she was willing to discuss joining forces with Jeremy Corbyn’s Labour Party to try and get a Brexit deal through Parliament.

It was a situation some senior Tories found unpalatable, believing that any contact with Jeremy would lead to an outbreak of contagious Marxism. They claimed that Theresa May had gone too far.

Plans to oust her, so soon after recently confirming they had full confidence in her leadership, were put in place and then withdrawn. They made their concerns known to Theresa May who confirmed, with full certainty, that one day she would no longer be Prime Minster. The Old Boys Network said they thought this was true.

However, the day was saved when Jeremy Corbyn called the whole thing off, saying ‘We were never going to agree with the enemy, no matter what happened but we just wanted to make it look like we were trying.”

The Tory grandees, on the 1922 Committee and in the ERG clubbed together to buy Jeremy a Thank You card. It read, ‘Thank you for all your help and complete lack of effort, you didn’t let us down. Here’s to Brexit. All the best. The Elite.’ Even Jacob Rees-Mogg signed it.

Brexit continues.