Mon. Sep 27th, 2021
Chocolate Milkshake Missile

A milkshake is being treated for post traumatic shock, after it inadvertently became covered in fascist.

Whilst going about it’s daily routine, the Newcastle milkshake unwittingly became embroiled in a street altercation, as part of a protest against an individual, purporting to be a politician.

With minimal warning, milkshake was suddenly jolted from his holder, landing unceremoniously on the suit of an individual, claiming to represent the people.

Dazed and distressed, Milkshake divulged, ‘All my life, I have dreamt of becoming a tasty, indulgent treat, only to have my big moment robbed from me. How utterly humiliating to be forever linked, with such a tainted individual. How will I ever live this down?’

Specialists have been called in to support Milkshake, while a separate investigation has begun to ascertain just how such a breach of security could take place. A man has been arrested, following witness statements.

One witness, who has chosen to remain anonymous told us, ‘There was blatantly no regard taken for the welfare of poor Milkshake and certainly no thought was given as to how he could possibly recover from such an embarrassing incident. My sympathies are with him at this upsetting time.’


By Lady Tamsyn Marie

Lady Tamsyn Marie elegant, charming and more vicious than Mary Poppins

The Chatty Chimp, where we don't do fake news, all our stories are 100% made up!