The House of Commons has decided that the law of the UK should apply to all the country.

In, what is widely seen as Theresa May’s last ‘F**k You!’ to the DUP, Parliament voted to legalise gay marriage in the province. This brings Northern Ireland in line with other religious fundamentalist states such as Alabama.

Needless to say the Protestants were up in arms about two people of the same gender loving each other enough to ensure they spent the rest of their lives in an unending tide of relentless misery.

One equal rights campaigner took this opportunity to welcome the decision and point out to anti-equality protestors that it didn’t make it compulsory. Not yet, anyway.

The Reverend Ian Napton claimed this was a dark day for the country. “The Bible doesn’t allow gay sex, God is going to be very cross about this.”

Meanwhile Barry, from the DUP explained that it was well known that modern miseries were God’s punishment for living immoral lives. He cited UKIP Scientist, David Silvester’s, seminal work ‘Gay Sex Makes It Rain’. David won a Knoble Prize for proving that God loves it to rain heavily on the unrighteous.

God, himself, was quiet on the issue.

Paddy said, “More rain in Ireland? I doubt anyone will notice! We’re already the wettest place in the country. Must be all the priests we’ve got.”