Sat. Oct 31st, 2020
Grandad in a care home

The Napton family has come to the sad realisation that it was time for Grandad to go into a home.

The trouble started when Grandad went to the local shop for a packet of Werthers Originals and came back with a copy of the Daily Mail. The embarrassed family immediately called an emergency meeting. After a quick chat, they decided that, even though he was only 58, it was time for him to go into a home. Grandma was delighted.

We’d noticed little things as he got older, he would come back from the golf club spouting some nonsense or other about brownies and gyppos, we thought that was just Grandad being Grandad. The Facebook account was a bit of an own goal, some of the stuff he was sharing wasn’t appropriate for the kids, we had to have a word.” explained his daughter, Gillian.

“Then his mate let slip he’d voted for Brexit, we hadn’t known otherwise he’d have gone three years ago. Now he is walking down the street with the Daily Mail hanging over his arm for everyone to see. God knows what the Vicar thought. Even the neighbours have stopped talking to us, we had to do something.”

“The hardest part was telling the grandchildren. How do you broach the fact that their grandad reads the Daily Mail? We used it to line the cat litter tray, turns out not even moggie would shit in it after that.” she said, mournfully.

If anyone of your friends and family are Daily Mail readers, please either get them help or locked up, for all our sakes.



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By Wild Gerald

Gerald has been running around the country, flinging poo, for many years. He is no longer wild, merely slightly annoyed.

The Chatty Chimp, where we don't do fake news, all our stories are 100% made up!